rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

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(via ktkeiper)

pleasestopbeingsad:

things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
- larry’s storyline

(via raidthisway)

jinn0uchi:

dendropsyche:

OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today

so we come across this thing

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and we discover you can turn it inside out and

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ITS HELLO KITTY I’Mimage

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HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE

why the fuck

(via spoken-not-written)

sharonosbourne:

people that are in relationships but still flirt with you anyway

image

(Source: andrewbelami, via tyleroakley)

meladoodle:

the final step in this recipe didn’t say “enjoy!” so i threw my food in the trash

(Source: meladoodle, via jesu-crisco)

spoken-not-written:

the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.

(Source: spoken-not-written, via morgrana)